_Together

This will be 200th post. Somewhat, it looks like i have given myself another crossroad, even though i have chosen one. Decision making is just so troublesome. In the beginning, i thought i have found what i wanted and went forward to pursue it. But when i have gotten it, it seems that those are not what i wanted. There are a lot of things i cannot leave behind and doubt it will be possible in the near future. why is life so complicated or am i the one making things complicated. here i am on a crossroad, hoping that i can make the right choice.

argh... i am confused. A lot of times, we're told to follow our heart and it will lead us to where we belong. Apparently that is not necessay true. Sometimes, being rational is probably more important than being emotional. Emotions do get into way sometimes and hence affect our judgement and now i am in this predicament. This is just so vexing. Probably one of the reasons is that we cannot predict the future. Jus thinking... If this is happen earlier, if that have not happened, probably i will be able to see a bigger picture and make a better choice. Haiz

Reader will have a problem understanding, but i am clear and fully aware of what am i facing. If time was to turn back and based on the current situation, probably i would have make another choice. But since future is unpredictable and time cannot be turned back, i have no choice but to stuck with what i am now and analayse the situation for the timebeing before i make my decision again. If one day, the decision has to come, there will be damaged and for my decision to establish fully, i will need to be cruel, heartless and ruthless. This is just not me... Argh.......

I know that this is reality. Life is not always a bed of roses, but i hope i can get what i want in my dreams - be free and enjoy what i truly wanted

May time freezes @

1:12 PM

Monday, April 20, 2009

I believe that i have reached a crossroad of my life.

May time freezes @

3:09 PM

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

It's been about a month since i've started working in IMH. The colleagues here are very nice. We can tease and have fun with each other. We have a Ah Mah that will make breakfast for us. Her scrambled egg bread is very nice. Yummy. My job scope has changed and I don't know what am i doing. Kind of lost. The 'project' given to me was to trace the medical report. Everything has a starting and an ending. However, the ones that are given to me are stuck, without an ending. Hence i have to gather, analyse, finding supporting evidence to have the next action taken to ensure all cases are closed. Lol.

There was a meeting held yesterday for the permanent staffs. The manager used carrots as a form of reward if the employees meet the 100% standard for 3 months. She asked them to name the carrots that they wanted. I feel that there is something wrong with the approach. I think what they needed most is not the carrots. If carrots were to be effective, it would have worked quite some time ago. I think the very basic that is needed to built up is the respect for the leader. Respect is not gained by violence and power but through time and effort putting into building the human relationships. Power should be from the people and not only from the authority that is given.

May time freezes @

1:24 PM